I CAN'T PLEASE EVERYBODY AND I AM FED UP !
July 12, 2006
People sucks sometimes..
I got my hair cut a while back, because my manager told me my long straight hair "is not working", to book me for certain jobs....pointing out the fact, all the Asians have the same hair style, long and straight, and in this town, I need to be unique. I sort of agreed to where he's coming from, and I liked to go forward w/my career, not staying where it is, so, I cut it, no big deal, even though, it was a week after I spent a couple hundred dollars for hair straightning perm....I met a great hairstylist who gave me a great hair cut, I love my new hair, I get a lot of compliments, I look and feel great !!
Today. I had a meeting w/someone who's in hiring position....first thing she told me as soon as I walked into her office was...."Nikoe !! You cut your hair !!! WHY!!!!I would work with you if you had long hair, do you think, you can grow your hair like this (pointing at my old headshot) in a month ?? (Notice no one's hair grow that fast !!) You know, you look great, but the short hair will limit you so much. If you look at TV or Movie almost all Asians you see have long straight hair why do you thik it is?"
And then. I went to another office to meet someone else for another project. and he goes.
" Do you think we can retouch your picture and make your hair look shorter? and more in style?"
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???!!!
I don't know why I felt so small, but at that point, I just have to realize that, I really can't please everyone I meet and I really can't make everyone like me.
There is always, "but"s and "if"s to like me ??
You don't even believe that people have commented on how I blink my eye, and say, "hey, you know, if you stop that, you may actually start booking more! "
Some people have told me that my accent is too strong I should work on my speach. And then, there're times that I wasn't hired because my accent was too little, or I was hired "but" I had to work on my accent so I would sound more foregin...
People just talk shit and sometimes they don't even mean shit and and its all peoples need to feel the power or some shitty habit that people are addicted to in this town, maybe. I don't care. I hate to feel like I don't know how I am.
Anyways, sometimes, people make you feel like you mean nothing and I guess that's part of life....Most of the times, things doesn't bother me at all, but sometimes, like today, even I want to say, "Fuck y'all ! Are you fuckin' kiddin me?" and kick the chair and slam the door and walk out the office.
Last week, I was flipping pages of some stupid gossip magazines at my girlfriends house, and, 2 magazines, using a exact same pic of, who was it? I think, it was Reese Witherspoon, in bikini. One says "look she's fat and ugly", the other one says, " look how fabulous she looks"
My GOD !
I kind of understand why people act like a bith when they actually make it big in Hollywood.....thats so much bullshit that they have to go through...
By the way. I am an actress, does anyone even care if I can act at all, before they care how my hair looks ? ;-)
